The Real reason your summer fitness motivation never lasts
Motivation, Discipline, and Why Most Lads Burn Out
Motivation is a topic I’m very interested in.
In fact, a lot of the lads I see banging the discipline drum are being driven by low-quality motives — even if they don’t realise it. That’s what I want to unpack in this article.
Motivation isn’t some fluffy concept.
It’s all the brain processes that energise behaviour.
Every behaviour is motivated — even when you sabotage your results. There’s always a reason you did what you did.
That’s why understanding motivation is important, rather than disregarding it because of what you heard on a podcast or in a reel.
Why You Keep Falling Off
A theory I want to talk about today is self-determination theory.
It explains why some motivation lasts… and why some burns out.
If you’re the type who gets fired up before summer or a holiday, dials everything in for a few weeks, then drops off once it arrives — this is for you.
Especially if you genuinely want to be fit, healthy, and stop going around in circles.
At its core, the theory says motivation is strongest and most sustainable when three psychological needs are being met:
Autonomy – feeling like this is my choice
Competence – feeling capable and effective
Relatedness – feeling connected, accepted, and respected
When one or more of these are missing, motivation becomes fragile.
Autonomy: “I’m choosing this”
Autonomy is the feeling of “I’m choosing this” — not doing it because you should, or because you’re trying to keep someone else happy.
When autonomy is low, we often rebel.
That’s why forcing yourself rarely works long-term.
Wanting a beach body isn’t fully autonomous.
It’s influenced by what you see, what’s praised, and what’s rewarded socially.
That doesn’t mean it’s wrong to want it.
But when you hyper-focus on it, motivation often drops off — or worse, you start developing disordered patterns around food and training.
Not All Motivation Is Created Equal
This is one of the most important things to understand.
Think of motives like the destination.
And motivation like the engine that gets you there.
In self-determination theory, there are two broad types of motivation:
Controlled motivation
These are driven by external pressure:
Avoiding guilt or shame
Seeking approval
Fear of rejection
Chasing status, money, or a certain look
They’re lower quality — but still useful.
Autonomous motivation
These come from within:
Values
Identity
Meaning
Purpose
Enjoyment
These are what last.
The Black Belt Analogy
I train Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
I’m intrinsically driven to do it. I enjoy it. It aligns with my values of strength, respect, health, and growth.
Yes — I also want a black belt.
But that isn’t the primary driver.
If it was, I’d probably be less likely to achieve it. Because I’d be doing it for status rather than because it fits who I am.
Now apply this to your own situation.
Most lads who yo-yo with the gym and nutrition have the black belt in the driver’s seat.
The beach body.
The outcome.
The approval.
And they haven’t really explored how health and training align with the man they want to become.
Why “Just Be Disciplined” Misses the Point
You’ll see a lot of coaches online saying motivation doesn’t matter — just be disciplined.
That’s misinformed.
Part of their identity is fitness.
That’s a high-quality motive.
They enjoy it. It’s who they are.
Yes, there are days we all don’t feel like showing up. And sometimes we do it anyway — people call that discipline.
But if training constantly feels like a massive effort, it’s usually because the primary driver is seeking approval or avoiding rejection.
But look — humans are wired for connection and to avoid rejection.
If you were bullied about your weight growing up…
If you’ve never felt good enough in your body…
It makes sense why this sits in the driver’s seat.
But understanding this isn’t helpful long-term for most is how you stop blaming yourself and start changing things properly.
A Quick Reality Check
Ask yourself honestly:
If no one could see my body, would I still want to train?
What kind of man does taking care of my body allow me to be?
What values does health actually serve in my life?
Am I driven more by fear… or by self-respect?
There’s no right or wrong answer here.
Just honesty.
The Point of All This
Discipline matters.
But discipline without aligned motivation feels like force.
When motivation is rooted in identity, values, and meaning, discipline becomes lighter — and consistency stops feeling like a battle.
That’s why I don’t just give lads plans.
I help them understand why they do what they do, unpack the real drivers behind their behaviour, and build motivation that doesn’t disappear when life gets busy.
Because the strongest version of you isn’t built through pressure.
It’s built through alignment.
If you want a coach who helps you build internal drive and stop the yo-yo cycles drop me a DM and we can chat.