From binging to 12kg lost….but not the conventional way that leads to rebounds.

One of my clients has been working with me for just under a year. In that time, he’s lost 12kg. Now, I know you've probably seen the promises other coaches make—10kg in 12 weeks—and that sounds great. But the reality is, a lot of binge eaters can drop 10kg in 12 weeks. The issue is, they don’t sustain it, and often end up with a worse relationship with food and their body.

People who struggle with the all-or-nothing mindset tend to go all in for a while... before eventually going all out again, hence why it's called the all-or-nothing mindset.

Here’s the thing: with this client, we barely tracked his scale weight. In fact, we barely even brought it up. For this write-up, I had to ask him what his weight was, and he didn’t know either. We didn’t track progress pictures or circumference measurements.

Why, you might ask? Isn’t that what every coach does?

Because body composition metrics aren’t the best approach for everyone. Focusing too much on appearance can keep people stuck, feeling inadequate, and attaching too much value to how they look.

The behaviours we engage in reinforce our beliefs. So if you believe ''I have to have lower body fat to feel confident or good enough'' checking your body repeatedly can reinforce that this is true.

Instead, we focused on personal growth, self-respect, challenge, and building lasting confidence. We didn’t just slap on a step target, a gym program, and a calorie goal. We challenged his beliefs about his body, food, and self—the things that kept him stuck in those sabotaging cycles.

A big focus was understanding and managing emotions—key to breaking the cycle of using food to cope.

We also worked on his body image. Every one of you has a body image, and for some, it’s keeping you stuck in insecurity, affecting your relationship with food, partners and your quality of life. Your body image is a perception of your physical self, and the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors related to it. Most people don’t realise how much it influences their eating habits.

If you’re dissatisfied with your appearance or place too much value on it, ignoring it won’t lead to the confidence and freedom you want long-term.

My client had done the whole calorie-tracking thing before but always ended up rebounding. Before we started, he told me, "I get going sometimes, then I sabotage my results."

Here’s why he couldn’t keep it up:

His motives weren’t strong enough—he was more focused on approval from others than on doing it for himself. Intrinsic motivation is what helps us stay consistent in the long run, and that’s what we work on.

He didn’t understand how his body image was influencing his eating behavior and how to manage it.

He didn’t understand how emotions were influencing his food choices.

For him, surviving was familiar. Thriving was unfamiliar, outside his comfort zone. Sometimes, we sabotage ourselves unconsciously because it feels safer, but that can also prevent us from becoming who we’re truly capable of being.

If you’ve done the whole calorie-tracking thing and rebounded, and you know you attach too much of your worth to your body, there’s more work to be done to build the confidence you truly want.

It’s not that you are destined for failure, it’s that the results you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.